why can't you see.

decadence

ALOHA! I'm Michelle, 15 going on SWEET 16 5th February. I'm not a nerd though i'm in a triple science class, cross my heart. The Fairfield Choir is the best opportunity i ever got, and it'll rock your socks off. Starbucks is totally awesome and kicks ass! I've a penchant for pink, i'm mad about Choir Clique and crazy over God.:)

links

♥ada
♥adelin
♥ailin, jessica
♥al-emporio
♥allinda
♥allison tan

♥brendan

♥celine
♥celine, jessica
♥chatterhoax
♥chin ngee

♥deborah
♥dione

♥elisse
♥elle
♥esther
♥eunice
♥eunice, celine

♥faye
♥fenny

♥huiling

♥jessica
♥jianping
♥jolenda
♥jolenda2
♥juniper

♥kaixin
♥kimberley kiew
♥kimberly choo

♥laozhabor
♥leonard
♥lincoln

♥meiying
♥minxian

♥natalia
♥natalia, sarah
♥nicole wong
♥noelle

♥pamela
♥petros

♥rebecca
♥rebecca lau
♥richelle
♥ruijun

♥sarah-ann
♥sofia
♥soh&low

♥vanessa

♥wallic
♥wing sze

♥xiaxue
♥xi yun
♥xing yi
♥xiuwen
♥xiu yun

♥yee wei
♥yukling

♥zoey

♥6c '06
♥6D '06
♥6g '06

credits

layout: detonatedlove♥
picture: sugarskinned
editing: mich..elle!♥

Last edited:
Sunday, 15.11.09, 11.56pm

Sunday, November 30, 2008
1:24 AM

we all hope you love flowers. there's dozens with you.

kinda tired right now.

have been on my feet since.. 5pm?

non stop till about 11+.

wake today was kinda alright.

i 'broke my promise' and cried.

but it's okay.

cos it's really natural.

and i'm kinda emotional nowadays?

but it wasn't a gloomy mood or anything.

the only thing was that i didn't dare to go see him.

even the thought of seeing him lying in there is freaking me out.

but i know i have to muster the courage to go see him,

cos it'll be the last time.

saw mr malvin chan, miss ng may gay and mrs rosalind ho today.

think mr chan recognised me?

hehehe.

but ah well.

service was really horrid for me,

cos beginning i was already tearing.

i was like looking around,

and my eyes rested on where he was lying.

and i just couldn't help it.

even though he changed his address from 'earth' to 'heaven',

but who can't help but cry?

one funny thing though,

that basically united all the cousins together,

was this certain 'peanut woman'.

she kept helping herself to the peanuts.

seriously.

she probably ate 3 packets by herself.

and worse still,

one packet can probably feed three tables.

like, you know.

pour on plate and give to each table.

and there was freaking 2 untouched plates near her,

but she kept taking?

and people from her table keep taking drinks by themselves.

HELLO, one freaking pack is $1.60.

not that i'm stingy,

but be more considerate la!

come on.

you taking advantage of the situation on hand is it.

wth.

well anyway,

our uncle kept telling us to 'stop her',

which was just sarcasm la.

she's seriously really horrid.

she can ask my YOUNGEST cousin who's only 8,

"can i take? can i can i?".

obviously using a small kid to get peanuts right.

and my cousin had to keep poking me and going,

"she's taking them again!" after my uncle told us that if she asks if she could take another packet,

we should tell her to clean all the tables to earn herself a pack of peanuts.

aiya,

in short.

she's NUTS.

desperate for them.

teehee,

it's meant to be somehow a pun. :)

a sick one, ahahaha.

well anyway,

thanks everyone for their support and encouragement.

really love you guys alot.

even if none of my friends come tmr or whatever,

it's fine by me.

encouragement is good enough.

well anyway,

i must say,

my grandpa looks really handsome in that picture.

he's finally in the newspaper.

so is my name.

but i rather not have my name there if i had a choice.

no one wanted this to happen,

though it will to everyone.

i'm just going to miss his cuteness everytime my sister disturbs him when he shuts his eyes.

how he will immediately respond when we go, "mr leong!",

and everything else i've witnessed.

but now, those eyes are going to shut and never open.

and though i wasn't that close to him,

but seeing the family photo is enough to trigger the tears.

he was so cute.

i hope you're having a great time in Heaven, grandpa.

i'll miss you loads.

and so will everyone.

no more suffering,

just happiness and laughter.

Was it you who spoke the words that things would happen but not to me

Oh things are gonna happen naturally

Oh taking your advice

I'm looking on the bright side

And balancing the whole thing

- it's so how i'm feeling right now.

i broke my promise, but i'm glad it wasn't really meant to be one anyway.

thank you so so much.

though you won't go tmr or whatever,

but you've been such a great pillar for me.

Labels: it'll get better in time.

Saturday, November 29, 2008
2:35 AM

So now I guess this is where we have to stand.

i'm much much better.

thanks everyone for asking and stuff!

hahaha,

i'm seriously better.

i'm just afraid i cannot sleep. :S

anyway,

i've been watching 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?" for like the past one plus hour,

and laughing like crap.

it's seriously hilarious.

thanks ar aaron,

ask me to watch.

now laugh until stomach pain.

and now i'm HUNGRY.

anyway,

thank you ailin, allinda, deborah, minxian, rebecca, yeewei for asking me to cheer up!

i'm so so much better man. :D

thanks you guys.

ahaha.

and thanks aaron for the videos,

and xingjie for all your crap.

hahahaa.

anyway,

i'm STILL watching.

and someone's impersonating daffy duck?

like what the, hahaha.

i think i'm gonna end up sleeping at 3am?

lol.

anyway,

didn't really do much yesterday ~~today~~ la.

went out to orchard to buy tops and stuff only.

ate yoshinoya (spelling?) with my sister.

criss-cut fries so pathetic.

like, 2.5 for one person?

what the.

the plate so huge somemore.

anyway,

i shall sleep early or rather,

now.

though it's like less than 10 hours,

but it's gonna be tiring i think.

so i doubt i'll be blogging tmr and sunday too.

have to sleep early.

deborah:

cheer up yeah? i've NO IDEA what's up now,

but just know that despite me having many things to do at this point of time,

i'm always free for you to talk to.

you can even come down and i can talk to you!

really.

cheer up and stuff yeah.

tell me anything if you want.

loveeeeees. :D

alrighty,

gonna sleep in 1 min?

goodnight (morning?) and thanks to everyone who messaged today!

love you guys so much.

thanks alot.

Labels: better in time.

Friday, November 28, 2008
8:35 AM

now i couldn't be more happy to see the sun each day.

woke up around 745am today.

and cried quite alot.

i've stopped now,

but my throat hurts,

and my eyes are still red.

i only had 6 hours of sleep at the most,

and i'm not going back to sleep.

it's really, sad.

not unexpected, but still.

who in the right mind would be happy at this point anyway.

it's really horrid.

i can't imagine anything now.

but i've so many questions, so much i want to know.

i was in the blogging mood at first,

but now i'm not.

well,

deborah,

i'm really sorry i can't go out for lunch with you today.

i really really wanted to.

we'll go as soon as i'm settled with everything.

in fact,

though it's not even 9am,

but i feels like it's 11 already.

and choir (clique),

i'm afraid i can't go hwa chong on saturday.

i'm really sorry.

i will tell you guys what's going on when everything's more or less settled yeah.

i promise.

and those who i messaged this morning,

i just hope you won't say anything yet.

and i'm alright,

don't worry.

i'm not emo-ing,

that's all you all have to know.

i look out of the window,

and the sun's shining on me.

i couldn't cherish more

each day that i am here to be.

it's just something i came up with.

it just rolled off my mind.

and it sums up just about everything.

Labels: the time has come

12:29 AM

time flies and it'll be a year before you know it.

pictures taken with my cam are uploaded! msn me if you want them! :)

ALOHA! :)

hahaha, first off,

i shall say that allinda chew is a huge RETARD.

she can't find her hairbands for apparently a few days now,

and she suspects that a hairband fairy took them all away.

zomg, allinda chew jia lin, you are seriously retarded.

you're acting like some kid who didn't mean to put his tooth under his pillow and then the fairy came to put a coin in it's place but you don't want the money but want the tooth.

HAHA!

i laughed so much when i got her sms that i replied in caps.

everything.

even the goodnight.

anyway,

went to superdog with ailin for lunch today.

AND I BUMPED INTO DIONE!

i was practically sitting at the table beside her?

and i didn't even notice.

i went abit crazy after seeing her, haha.

cos even allinda hasn't seen her since she left for europe i think?

hahahaa.

anyway,

then later aaron and derek came.

ate for quite long, walked to toys'r us then started going crazy there,

walked in circles,

went build-a-bear workshop then went to find sherrill and shermaine.

apparently they went to best denki instead of burger king?

bused to 79,

but it was 'closed' cos there was a day camp going on?

so we decided to go back to my house to play and stuff.

played taboo,

in which the guys joined later.

and purposely made _ _ _ _ _ and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (not exact no of letters. :D) pair up to play?

hahahhaa, hilarious.

so sherrill and ailin won with 40 cards,

me and aaron with 34?

and _ _ _ _ _ and _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ with i don't know how many.

HAHA, super funny.

they lost la, in short.

so we started playing tai di and we all had to explain to ailin how to play again?

later when shermaine and sherrill left,

we four kept playing.

and i realised everytime ailin shuffle the cards, i confirm lose.

aaron shuffle,

he usually loses or gets really horrid cards, then cannot win.

derek shuffle,

who wins is unpredictable, but sometimes give everyone but me good cards.

but when i shuffle,

i always win!

and the guys keep saying my theorem is like, whack.

but it's true i win when i shuffle!

and then everyone gets lousy cards, muahaha.

oh, and all three left the same time my mum came back?

but they didn't bump into each other, haha!

i just realised i'm talking alot of crap about today?

it's like,

some meaningless post.

waste of everyone's time eh, sigh.

well,

saturday after workshop is choir clique (5/6) lunch i guess!

PLUS ISLAND CREAMERY!

seems like choir people like island creamery,

other people think daily scoop or cold rock better.

but i'm sticking to my reversO and mudpie from I.C, thank you. :D

and tomorrow is IKEA LUNCH with DEEEEEEEEEBRAHHHHH!

it's been really, really long since we had solo date.

hehehe.

camwhoring tomorrow i hope! (JUMPSHOTS?! :D)

and i hope they have meatballs on friday!

but i highly doubt so!

who cares.

i like salmon. :)

alright.

i shall edit more photos that i finally got from my sister's cam and stuff.

gonna sleep latest 2 i guess!

goodnight! :)

tag replies

chew: yeap, you saw the pictures already! :) tee hee. call me up if you've any problems okay? i'll try my best to listen if i'm totally free! :) <3

Labels: when you're having fun.

Thursday, November 27, 2008
1:18 AM

there's nothing better than this day in my life.

yesterday ~~today~~ was UBER fun and all.
but my thighs and butt hurts ALOT! :(
shan't go into great detail cos i'm pretty tired.
and lazy, teehee.

went ECP first.
stupid 196 took uber long?
like over an hour.
walked through the underpass then went macs for lunch.
rented bikes later,
cycled for 2 hours.

went vivo later to watch madagascar 2,
and it was pretty funny. :)
dinner at habourfront then went rooftop to play and talk.
reached home around 10pm?
real fun man. :D

well,
i still haven't gotten pictures from my sister,
so i'm sorry yeewei, rebecca, deborah and allinda!
hahaha, not really anyone's fault though.
lol.

alright,
i shall watch finish ep 17 of ten brothers then sleep.
goodnighty! :)

tag replies
chew: HAHA, okay, edited ones for now alrighty. :) sorry.

pool with ailin, sherrill, aaron and derek today! ~~tomorrow~~! :)

AND I STILL MISS ESPLANADE. :(

edited:
i just realised i always post after midnight, that's why i cancelled all 'wrong' words? :)

Labels: promises.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008
12:00 AM

life has never been any sweeter than this day.

ALOHA! :D
michelle is a SUPER happy girl today yo.
hairpeeeeeeeeee. :D
and well,
i've alot of things to say, but i shall keep it short.

zomg, i'm listening to the japanese song that we sand ytd at esplanade though it's not sung by us.
AND I MISS THE WHOLE CONCERT ALOT.
the japanese song really made a HUGE impact on me.
like deborah said, "it has become a part of us already".
i totally agree.
from all the rehearsals and actualy concert,
the japanese song was my favourite.
and along with the TK band,
i loved it even more.
i admit: i would give up anything, my time, just for a repeat of yesterday.
or to even perform the japanese song.
i've never wanted to do something choir related so much man. :S

anyway,
edited a few pictures earlier on.
so some of the pictures at the start of each post may look the same,
but the edits are different. :)

okay, random much.
EEEEE, the song is really making me emotional about yesterday.
sigh.
well, outing tomorrow and thursday.
lunch with ailin on thursday too before pool! :D

okay, i shall continue doing random stuff online.
gotta sleep by 1am though.
45 minutes left. :S

the song is SERIOUSLY making me miss every bit of the concert. :(
AND I WANNA GO AMERICA/EUROPEEEE. :(

and all it took was just a response.
a reply.
a everything.

today's the day,
and it's here.

Labels: can i have this dance

Tuesday, November 25, 2008
4:25 PM

the day can't get any less brighter than this.

hello there people. :)

i'm in a so-so mood today.
haven't gotten anything for practically the whole day,
and i'm still waiting.

totally not hungry today,
so i skipped lunch and stuff.
i didn't even eat breakfast either.

honestly,

i've no appetite either,

but i definitely won't skip dinner.

i will be way too hungry man.

my mind is still replaying back all the scenes from yesterday.

how we rehearsed,

how it turned out passable and almost perfect,

how we ended off so nicely,

and all the drama added into the whole concert by the band and everyone,

and how the audience stood to clap.

how the choir sang and made the whole night worth it, (abit of bias-ness here, but it's true!)

and just how the whole experience has made everyone happy?

i certainly felt so happy and stuff.

it was fun.

and nice.

the feeling's indescribable man. :D

anyway,

i spent the whole day doing NOTHING.

it's almost the end of november and i haven't even started on homework!

i think i shall start this friday.

i actually don't feel like doing though.

and i thought i will be super excited about my new textbooks but i didn't flip through anything.

only the bio book,

cos i love science. :)

but well,

i'm actually not looking forward to sec 3 sometimes.

it's freaky.

one moment you're some new kid,

next moment you're starting on upper secondary,

getting ready for 'O' levels.

scary much.

there's like nothing to do at home!

and i keep sweating.

anytime i'm away from the fan or the fan's not blowing at me,

i will start feeling all sticky and sweaty.

eeeeeeek,

i hope i'm not sick.

shall edit photos that i have now.

hopefully i can get those from my cam by this week! :D

tag replies (i'm really lazy to do blockquote already.)

chew: which edited photos? you need to tell me which one. :) and i'll upload photos from my cam asap okay, sorry for delaying. :D and at least you never fall asleep during OUR performance. :D

and i really sometimes wonder why do i wait so much.

am i stupid to wait,

or am i stupid to think you'll actually do anything immediately.

or are you the stupid one, taking everything for granted?

i don't know, i've no idea.

i don't even know what am i saying.

but all i know is,

i'm gonna be happy tomorrow,

the day after,

and for my whole life.

Labels: stupid girls

1:55 AM

even the littlest actions can make a day brighter.

ALOHA!
i'm back from the World-In-Singapore concert.
i'm not gonna go into super great detail but just rough idea of the whole thing. :)

well,
after three days of rehearsals,
the concert was finally here.
it was so amazing.
and to think i actually thought the concert was such a stupid idea at first?

reached school around 1145 for lunch with deborah.
took a panadol cos i had headache and kept thinking i'm sick?
went high out of the sudden then started taking jump shots and stuff.
and i took TWO superbly nice 'flying' shots of myself. :)
i literally jumped off the bench in school while the cam was on self-timer?
so fun. :)

went mad taking pictures after we got to esplanade.
waited around in the theatre again, which was the holding room?
tea break, then it was more photos.
and minxian and i had a hard time trying to contact people.
our secret ar. :D

well,
before dinner,
me and minxian were so bored,
we went around trying to take more pictures?
took quite a few, like at the 'forbidden area',
cos that's where everyone got chased away by some guy.

dinner,
then we started taking more jump shots and photos in our gowns after changing?
alot of nice pictures, and faye can jump really well already!
and she always jumps on time, so hers is the nicest among us. :S
went to put makeup, took a few more pictures then left for the concert hall.

the TK band was superb, and i love the deep purple medley!
it's so cute, and so cool. :)
our finale item was the best thought.
the japanese song was really drama, and made me feel so proud to be part of this whole thing?
after we repeated the second phrase of the song,
we practically got a standing ovation?
okay, maybe cos people were leaving, but it was so nice and stuff?
it's huge, the hall,
and it's so nice to see so many people!

well,
after changing took a few more shots,
then went for a quick drink with deborah before getting my dad to fetch me home.
the whole experience was so fun man.
no regrets at all.
maybe except for some schools which obviously don't know how to sing properly?
:D

alright,
i think i shall sleep early tonight.
kinda tired.
it's actually 2am already, so not that early la.
:)

and i am really starting to love choir alot,
despite the weird gown and stuff.
but i really love the choir clique and they're the ones who make choir so lovely and stuff.
hahahaa, i think i'm in a dedication mood!
but nah, i shan't. :)

tag replies from 6nov! :D

chew: ah yes, i know you read. and oh, i won't tell you 'know what'. and thanks for the compliment yo, glad the concert was entertaining enough though SOMEONE fell asleep? :( and you do suck, really. at taking jump shots. even the self-timer better than you. :)

koo: lol. i don't exactly bother. and, zeng yan can be nice la. :S

ada: hahahaa, you might regret. seriously. :) but you won't wanna drop hmt la, anyway. :D

deborah: ahahhaa, it's meant to be gay. hahaha, tan lines tan lines. :)

alrighty, shall sleep.
GOODNIGHT! :D

Sunday, November 23, 2008
11:33 PM

ignorance is never bliss. it's torture.

rehearsal today was UBER FUN. :D

woke up real early though.

met deborah, yeewei and rebecca and esplanade entrance,

made our way slowly to the stage door there.

the lift was super scary, shan't elaborate.

started rehearsal after eating a bit of food,

then went for first run with the band.

it's super drama and stuff?

full dress rehearsal after lunch,

running about all the time.

second half of concert rehearsal,

and the TK band is super duper cool,

with their MCR look-alike uniform and damn cool movements?

so synchronised.

i hope we all don't screw up tmr though,

the other schools kept forgetting which part is which part!

really horrid.

the jap song is currently stuck in my head.

it's super drama, i tell you.

went marina with brah, faye and yeewei.

walked abit, yeewei went to join her family while us 3 went carl's jr.

i had portobello mushroom burger and was ultra full.

first time man.

walked abit more, then went somewhere to take beautiful jump shots and stuff.

then we saw this SUPER UBER beautiful place to take pictures?

it was drizzling and stuff.

so romantic i tell you.

well,

mrt-ed home.

and there was this _ _ _ _ _ _ who kept staring at my direction?

he has those SUPER long lashes and kept looking like some jikopei.

and i was just touching my HAIR.

and after staring at me,

he talks to his friend in the obvious language that me and faye won't understand.

so i started telling faye about him staring at me in chinese.

got off at clementi, bused home,

went to buy stuff at ntuc and finally reached home.

zomg, my legs were SORE after all that walking, jumping, going mad.

today was such a blast.

hope the concert will be equally nice too!

well,

will update on tuesday.

tomorrow will be home really late?

outing on wednesday and pool on thursday!

i'm SO gonna own aaron lim.

you cheater bug.

i accidentally hit in the white ball and you won.

hmph.

goodnight and wish me and the whole choir luck!

Friday, November 21, 2008
10:17 PM

what matters is right here, right now.

aloha!
actually,
i'm posting at like, 1130+ now?
i've been watching teevee alot.

woke up this morning with my throat hurting, and it still hurts!
hope i'm not falling sick.
took a panadol just in case already.
:S

anyway, tomorrow is off to school to buy books!
i can't believe a bio textbook costs so much mansxzxzx.
sigh, and i can't believe i'm going to be practically a senior next year.
like, senior senior.
i'm so old. :S

weeeell,
tai ti is now my current obsession.
it's online, anyway,
not actual one.
it's uber fun and all!

alright, nothing much to update le.
shall end here to end making people miserable by reading my blog that has lost it's touch.
:S

macs breakfast tomorrow! :)

Labels: estatic

12:12 AM

you forgave me for whatever i did, and that's all i need.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AARON! :D

hahaha, madness.
happy 14th birthday bestest. :)
hahahaa, i actually have alot of old but ugly photos,

so i shan't post.

see, i'm ultra nice!

weeeeell, hope you have a superb birthday!

sorry, no present.

don't know what to get for you.

anyway,

today went out for lunch at suntec with my family.

really stupid to pay $9.80 for like, abit of food only.

it was decent but not my type.

went orchard later.

i couldn't find the heels i want!

and well,

in the end, bought so many stuff for like presents.

everything basically for my parent's friends.

today was really nothing much though.

came back home with horrid headache.

slept till 8.30 then woke up to watch I survived a japanese gameshow.

it's super hilarious.

i thought donnell would win (though i didn't exactly like him)

but justin won!

coolios. :D

okay, i'm not really in a blogging mood now or anything,

so i guess i'll end here!

oh, well, on second thought,

i shall be mean and post a REALLY stupid picture of aaron.

he just better not kill me.

HAHAHA, remember this?

the 'geek and pai kia' photo spree we had when we had group study. :)

HAHA, tan lines.

okay, shit, don't kill me. :S

Labels: can i have this dance

Thursday, November 20, 2008
12:40 AM

you can't match up to certain things in life.

today was such a blast!
met up with the new 'house clique' (as named by deborah) at holland for lunch!
and i think now deborah's our official 'mummy'.
she's so protective and stuff, hahaha.
and we're all older than her!
ironic eh.

me and allinda were kinda late cos of the bus and stuff,
so when we reached there, we expected the rest to be at sushi tei.
but turned out they were not open yet so we went starbucks to meet them.
at sushi tei, i think we slowly got high?
we took uber long to order stuff,
and was camwhoring and trying to take unglam pictures while playing around with the menus.
and it was like some paparazzi field day?
deborah, allinda and i were armed with cameras,
and everyone's phone had cameras too.

ordered food,
which was quite alot for a table of 5 secondary school girls.
yeewei then took a plate of sashimi off the conveyor belt,
and i ended up sharing with her.
:S
and yeewei ate too much wasabi till she turned red?
heh!

well,
after settling the mad bill of almost $80,
we stood on some metal electric box thingy to settle individual bills.
hahaha, and apparently many fairsians were there?
and later on i think belda said she saw us standing there, haha!

well,
went into cold storage to walk around,
then walked all the way to the bus stop to take bus back to school.
went opposite to buy bubble tea while allinda went home.
went back to school, started camwhoring alittle and stuff.
and we took the most hilarious photos!
when i get to upload, it'll be my display picture, friendster picture, everything.
(yeewei, i don't think you'll like it. :S)
okay, maybe not so extreme. :)

well,
today was really fun.
it's been so long since i had so much fun with the clique, or just my closest friends.
i think i'm setting my piorities 'straighter' now.
and i'm really determined to not let little things annoy or make me angry anymore.
i'll continue trying to be happy even if anything happens.
i won't complain or rattle on negative stuff on my blog.

alright, i'm supposed to edit pictures but i still haven't!
guess i'll sleep around 2am tonight!
and i'm to meet my parents at suntec for lunch tomorrow!
my dad wants to bring me to eat some $9.80 buffet.
and i think that's before GST and service charge.
:D

Labels: bittersweet conversations

Wednesday, November 19, 2008
2:42 AM

not all nice words solve a problem, but bad words don't either.

aloha!

allinda chew jia lin is currently trying to sleep behind me.

and i think i shall sleep really really soon.

anyway,

today was a blast!

went waraku to eat,

and had a uber fun time there trying to take artistic (but failed) photos.

then it was off to the steps that i like taking photos there.

no jump shots though, i didn't dare to cos of some reason.

walked to the flyer later,

and couldn't find a nice place to take pictures.

but later on, practically an hour later,

we found this perfect spot and spent more than an hour there!

not saying where exactly it is though, find it out yourself! :D

but before that, while walking,

i think i rested my hand on some platform thingy for too long,

and this HUGE red ant bit me.

what the, it hurt so much!

so itchy. :(

well,

then i had this urge to go T3 for like super long,

and allinda (the today-so-nice) also wanted, so we mrt-ed all the way to changi!

it was uber fun yo.

didn't manage to take much pictures cos we couldn't find a quiet spot though there were hardly any arrivals.

even the viewing mall was packed/noisy.

well, i won't give up, i'm gonna take the most beautiful pictures there someday!

skytrained everywhere today.

T3 to T2, which was a damn 'swinging' ride,

kept swinging from left to right?

crazy man.

then T2 to T1,

then just for macs, we skytrained from T1 back to T3.

full circle!

well,

then mrt-ed back,

which was really stupid,

cos i randomly started taking pictures with the chips we bought.

wanted to have a movie marathon just now,

but after watching charlie and the chocolate factory,

we both were so sleepy and decided to use com.

and my ruffles is half-eaten.

photos soon when i get to upload.

i'll only upload the seriously nice ones,

cos we took and estimated almost 300 photos?

it's madness.

and allinda's camera has this cool video editing thingy?

really cool.

so allinda,

don't you upload the super ugly and unglam pictures okay.

only the waraku ones are fine.

the rest, please don't.

especially the failed jump shots.

oh, forgot to mention one thing.

ALLINDA CHEW REALLY SUCKS AT TAKING JUMP SHOTS.

she practically took 15 shots before getting one that's even decent?

hehehe.

okay, maybe 10 tries.

but it's bad enough.

alright, i'm super uber tired.

shall sleep now.

jap lunch with deborah, rebecca and yeewei tomorrow!

photos and tag replies soon.

and don't worry, i'm fine now.

really really fine.

and rest assured, i'll tell you if i've problems okay.

thanks so much for the concern and stuff,

despite what has happened.

but i'm glad it's all over, isn't it! :D

Labels: great escape

Tuesday, November 18, 2008
3:04 AM

it's 3:04AM!
:D
and i'm glad to say,
i'm much better now.
i've gotten over my frustration.
:D

goody,
i think i shall sleep now.
goodnight!
or should it be, good morning?
:D

Labels: i want it all

2:14 AM

relaxing is easy, letting go and forgetting is hard.

ARGHHHHHHH!

why am i even posting so many times?

and no, my conscience isn't pricking me.
i'm glad i found someone who can tolerate my insecurities and nonsense,
and just listen to me,
but somehow, i still feel so frustrated.
i feel like i've let everyone, including myself, down.

what a horrible feeling.

i probably need to start picking up my bible and get engrossed in it.
i've not been close to God these few weeks, months, whatever.

do i actually, really and truely deserve what i have right now?
or is it all obtained through my selfishness and oversensitive-ness.
i don't know.
i've never been more confused in my life.

my feelings are mixed up like shit.
one moment i'm happy, next i'm damn downright sad and frustrated?
i hope nothing's wrong with me.
better not be depression.
cos i think i can actually slip into it without knowing.

when will i ever learn to forget, let go and leave things the way it is?
i need lessons.

Labels: disturbia

12:33 AM

it's their gain, your loss, and my disappointment.

somehow, i'm so darn disappointed.
even a teensy weensy bit angry.
why didn't you go for it?
why didn't you try?
the place could have gone to you.
same situation.
almost the exact same situation.
they got it!
maybe you could have, i don't know.
but there was such a huge chance.
so big.

i know, you're still happy with what you've got now,
so maybe if i had been more irritating and pushed you to try, and you actually got it,
you might not be happy.
but to be honest, put up with an irritating person and get what you want or give it up to avoid the irritating person?
to be, i rather choose the former.

and yes, i still haven't gotten over it.
i said i will, i have,
but i realised i haven't.
and somehow, it makes it all worse now.

i ask myself this so much:
WHY is this happening,
WHY this and that,
WHY yadaladadadadadblahblah.
i know, i'm pretty annoying at times, i'm overly sensitive,
i'm such a horrible person who neglects everyone,
i always want my way.
so i shouldn't be asking so many 'WHYs' since i kinda deserved it?
but others don't deserve it, yet they still have to ask 'why'.

yeap, i'm talking this whole chunk of rubbish.
i'm selfish.
but i rather be selfish for the good of someone else.

maybe i don't deserve you, or anyone at all.
i've let down so many people,
maybe including you.

and i'm not trying to wallow myself in self-reproach.
i just need somewhere to let it all out.

maybe saying all this has no point.
you don't even come by, you won't even see this.
probably to you, if you got that instead of what you have now,
you'll probably feel less happy.
i know, i'll leave stuff as it is,
but i'll just have you know i still can't get over it,
and no matter how much you talk to me about it,
no matter how much you convince me to let it go,
i still can't.

but i very much want to let go.
you know it.
but i can't.

Labels: scream

Monday, November 17, 2008
11:32 PM

you're still doing all the things you said you won't anymore.

finally, i edited tons of pictures yesterday!
i've not much inspiration nowadays, i realised.
now i'm wondering if i should go for something.
i don't want to end up in tears over something that i actually think i forgot long ago but am gonna be facing?
maybe yes, maybe not.

well anyway!
tomorrow is whole day out camwhoring with ALLINDA CHEW!
it's been not too long since we camwhored,
but very long since we went out to camwhore.
all the superb places we're going tomorrow, can't wait!
hope i get to take a perfect jumpshot.
should add that to my wishlist.
:D :D :D :D

and today i just realised tv is seriously addictive.
there's like so many shows to watch from 7pm onwards till midnight?
probably better than internet since friendster's so screwed!
i'm left with 25 friends.
what the.
:/

i realised i've nothing much to blog about, as usual?
my life is staying the same way.
in fact, in the last 6 months, though much has happened,
it's becoming more and more normal.
but well, that's how everything is like right?
i don't regret anything i've done though.
maybe the only thing is that i pushed neglected certain people?
whatever, it's all over and i feel everything's going back to as per usual.
it's happier this way though.

anyway, it looks like i can't go for youth camp,
though i wanted to so badly!
i'm probably going KL with sarah-ann's family.
might as well, since that means shopping!
but i rather stay in singapore, spend my money here and boost the economy!
:D

well, i'm half looking forward to next year,
half not.
looking forward cos i can't wait to finally study science so in depth.
hawhaw, i'm such a geek.
oh, and yes,
i do wonder who's my teacher.
i'm terrified to know.
:(
AND I DON'T KNOW WHO TO SIT WITH DURING CHINESE!

three years consecutively, i always wonder who i'll sit with.
i'm always the 'third party'.
first it was elle and rebecca, then allinda and dione.
BUT NEXT YEAR IS SIMPLY NO ONE.
:(
please no _ _ _ _ _ or _ _ _ _ _.
:(
ADA, WHY MUST YOU BE IN HMT!!!

hahahhaa, i think my brain's a little haywired.
i wonder if there are more new jeff dunham videos.
you guys should go watch it, it's hilarious.
:D
only, it's around 90 mins long, so up to you if you want to watch it.
:)

okay, i think i've talked alot of rubbish?
i've really lost my blogging touch.
:(

ALLINDA CHEW,
I CANNOT WAIT FOR SLEEPOVER!
MOVIE MARATHON!
CAMWHORING OUTING!

and here's the video that i mentioned 2 paragraphs above.
:)

Labels: walk away

Sunday, November 16, 2008
1:51 AM

MY COM WORKS AGAIN! :D
hohoho,
i'm uber happy.
:D
and i've the flash thingy fixed, so i can watch videos and stuff.
:D
watching some uber long 80+ min jeff dunham video?
it's super hilarious!
and has beeps everywhere.
apparently the puppets ALL say something that has to be censored.
sounds avenue q-ish man.
:D

anyway,
allinda's staying over on 18th!
in the morning, we'll go somewhere super nice to camwhore the WHOLE day,
hopefully go on the flyer! ( :D :D :D )
and then at night,
we'll have major movie marathon, complete with b&j's, chips, drinks,
and plenty of fun!
EEEEEEEE,
ALLINDA CHEW JIA LIN,
I CANNOT WAIT!
:D

alright,
about 6 minutes left to the video.
shall go watch and then go to sleep.
:D
tag replies soon.
i'm uber lazy today.
:)

and so if you hate me, tell me.
please, be more mature and stop being such a hypocrite.
it won't get you far.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008
8:39 PM

my com is still not 'salvaged' yet.
:(
sigh, super duper sad!
and i miss my com.

at cousin's house now.
hahaha, fun as usual so far.
:D
this is like the only time i get to blog.
short one though.

esplanade rehearsal is breathtaking.
the hall is HUGE.
it's super cool.
:D

and i want the HSM3 soundtrack!
$18+ though.
:(
SOMEONE BUY FOR ME.
:D

hahahaha, alright, shall blog again soon.
shopping on friday,
then chew's staying over on 18!
:D

alright,
short one today.
so ada, DON'T COMPLAIN.
:D

only one person knows, and i won't tell anyone else.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008
12:37 AM

I AM FRUSTRATED TILL I'M SUPER SLEEPY.

seriously.
arghhhhhh.
i think i'm having moodswings.
suck.
either that or it's my oversensitive nature at work again.
i want to go places i've not been to, or have not gone for really long!
this is so frustrating.
i'm so tired now.
never been so sleepy.
my eyes are drooping.
:(

looks like it really won't happen eh.
WHY ME.
why.
tomorrow's the last day.
and looks like you don't give a hoot even if i mention it like what, six times in a day?
no response on the subject.
i'm so tired.
i don't know why am i like that.
all i wanted was a try from you.
just a try, a shot at it.
so many people are so anxious to try,
you?
not very.
maybe you've your reasons.
i don't know.
but even if there is,
you're not even saying anything.
you don't even give a response to my question, which i've asked probably 6 7 times in a DAY.
a DAY.

oh my gosh.
i really need my sleep.
i don't even want to go out tomorrow.
i don't even want to go anywhere.
i just want to re-watch my korean show and cry at the touching/sad parts.
i don't wanna do ANYTHING.

but why?
why?

i think it's reached a point where we ALL need to talk,
and i need to let go faster.
oh, and of course,
be less sensitive?
demanding?

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY AM I COMPLAINING TO PEOPLE OR BEING SO DEMANDING AND WHINY AND WHATEVER.
I'M LIKE DOING THIS UNCONSCIOUSLY.
I DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME EVEN.
AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
I'M SO TIRED.

so so tired.

goodnight.

oh, and if anyone wants to start saying stuff after reading this (if you even have anything to say),
and it's negative,
don't even say it.
i'm irritated and frustrated enough.
actually,
don't even say anything at all.
i've had enough for today.

Labels: frustration leads to sleepiness

Tuesday, November 04, 2008
5:51 PM

even when darkness turns to light, you know they're still there for you.

CLASS BBQ YESTERDAY WAS THE BEST!

it was such a great catch up time.

i'm gonna miss this class SO MUCH.

at least most of the fun people in this class is going to be in the same class as me next year,
but i'll miss allinda, dione, eugene, tianli (MY WHOLE LIT GROUP IS LEAVING ME ALONE!), evangeline, annabel and whoever else.

oh,

and ailin and serena and derek.

come to think of it,

ALOT of the fun people are leaving.

it really sucks.

i actually wished that the whole of 2E would be able to move on together to 3E.

i'm really gonna miss them alot.

yesterday was a rather bittersweet ending to the year, i think.

it was so much fun.

though there were so many things missing and made some of us go to broadway there to get the stuff,

and though everything was in a mess, it was really so fun.
the countless photos we took are memories of that night.

there's like 115 photos in allinda's camera!

and i think practically 50 of them are jumpshots.

but anyway,

yesterday was really great.

miss reena, mrs ho and mdm chong came.

everyone was having fun bbq-ing, eating and all.

then came the camwhoring while the guys ran off to play ball.

chew, ailin, evan and me went mad with taking jump shots.

we jumped and did really stupid stuff!

and then there were the laggy shots.

three people in a row, jump all at different timings,

so there's always this 'short to tall' difference in alot of the photos.

and unglam ones.

then dione, chew, ailin, evan and me went to the baby pool to camwhore even more!

it was super fun.

doing stupid stuff,

taking pictures on the slides,

going abit mad on the swings,

and finally running back in case the rest already left.

then it was truth or dare!

for the dares, it was actually quite simple.

get to hug someone of the opposite sex.

and other stupid stuff.

alot of secrets were told (which we promised not to let them out)

and alot of laughter.

last night was really a night to remember,

and i doubt i'll ever forget it.

in fact, i want another bbq NOW!

i'm missing 2E so much,

and i didn't even think i will love this class at all.

but there's so many of the fun people and super good friends that won't be in the same class as me anymore.

but i promise myself to love whichever class and whoever's in it.

i just hope it'll be more fun!

but as long as 2008 hasn't come to an end yet,

2E will still be the class i'll never ever forget.

having said this, i think i'll do dedications soon!

so fun, bwahaha.

alright, tag replies. (from 26 oct onwards. cannot rememeber when's the last time i replied tags.)

chew: hahaha, relinked! and i miss you too. this thursday/friday okay? :D and who's the toot here man. :(
pamie: loool, siao. and you're welcome. :)
kimberly: hahaha, thanks! :D
rui jun: haha, thanks too.
deborah: are you mad? everything in caps, hahhah! well, i'm honoured too. is it safe to say we've patched things up? :D AND WE WILL GO OUT SOON. :D
yunn: linked! :D

tomorrow's dental and visit to deborah's house!

I CANNOT WAIT. :D

Labels: be careful what you wish for

Monday, November 03, 2008
11:45 AM

oh,
and i didn't mention something.

LEWIS HAMILTON WON THE F1 CHAMPIONSHIP.
and the youngest so far!

ada,
you must be super in love now.
HAHA.
and nicole scherzinger must be so proud.
:D

i'm not really a fan,
but i've always hoped he'll win the championship.
amazingly, he did.
wow.
:D

11:30 AM

i decided to do a short birthday dedication for my beloved sister!
:D

jie,
happy birthday first!
:D
hahaha, although the age gap shocks people,
i think we're still rather close, right!
i remember all the late nights together watching tv at our redhill house.
me going over to paint my nails and forcing you not to sleep,
just like last night!
and many other times where we would complain about our 'neighbours' that nag so much.
and all your birthdays where i didn't give you anything, hehehe.
(this year too. sorry, broke after paying for phone bills. :( )

but i just wanna let you know that i feel so happy to have such a sister.
i really look up to you, you know!
(only it's irritating you keep snatching piglet away and smashing his face against the wall.)
just remember, if you get married soon,
give me a HUGE red packet as compensation for tolerating your weird behaviour.
HAHA.

well,
happy 2_th birthday!
i love you!
:D
and sorry tonight can't celebrate or anything.
class bbq.
:(

you know,
people always say it's good to love,
but it's better to be loved?
and quotes always telling you it's better to be loved than love, something like that?
but i think i beg to differ.
i think to love someone takes so much courage.
it's really noble too.
and though i'm grateful to be loved,
i'm happy that i love you too.
:D
but i'm sorry for everything,
and i'm just really happy you can tolerate me.
:D

it's really a long time wish that came true.
and i can't be more grateful.

Labels: so what

12:00 AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIE!
:D
hehehe,
abit OLD already eh,
so i shan't reveal your age.
i'm nice.
:D

midnight post seh,
how nice.
ahaha!
anyway,
tomorrow choir's at 130.
really lucky.
alot of people have to sleep CHAO early.
:D
while i can wake up at teeeen!
:D

i cannot wait to visit deborah on wednesday.
we've so much to catch up, and i hope by then, she's TONS better!
:D
deborah, you can do it. no matter what the specialist says,
be happy alright!
choir clique, your class clique and other friends are here for you.
i love you!
:D

oh well,
i think i should sleep real soon.
cannot afford to have super obvious eyebags.
:D
hahaha,
and well,
i'm really sleepy.
so goodnight!
:D

and those who are doing appeals or something,
all the best.
Everything's God's plan, so if your appeal doesn't get through,
stick with it.

i'm actually still brooding over this matter, to be honest.
i wonder if you'll actually try to appeal.
it's the same with c_ _ _ _ _ you know.
you keep saying you want to give the letter,
but it's been almost 3 months?
and the letter's only halfway done.
and looks like you can't give the letter cos a new year's starting soon.
i wonder sometimes if it's my fault that i don't let you have your way,
and always want it my way.
or you actually want to do all of these but you're either busy/lazy to do so.
i think you won't even try to appeal, you don't want at all.
cos the deadline is here, anyway.

i'm getting upset.
and really pissed by my dad just now.
but i've gotten over it, so i'm fine.
but the whole school stuff going on?
i don't know if i'm just not understanding and wanna be in control, want to have my way, or it's not only me but others too.

having an oversensitive nature seriously sucks.
but i really think you didn't care if it was a subject you didn't want.
i still can't let go.
maybe cos you said you'll appeal but you later, as usual, say you don't know and in the end,
won't and don't want to.

amazingly, stuff i get upset by?
has nothing to do with outside stuff, but always school-related.

ARGH.
WHY.
WHY.
WHY!

Labels: right here right now

Saturday, November 01, 2008
11:18 PM

now THIS one above looks like a real girl gang! :D hehehe.

more of the HSM pictures,

this time from my camera.

and i don't really care if anyone gets jealous, hehehe.

i'm trying to find people to go out with!

tomorrow!

hahahhaa.

i'm bored.

sigh!

today didn't do anything much.

relief teacher in tuition,

was total slack.

smsed in peace!

hehehe, then just got copying here and there.

nothing much to blog about actually.

just wanted to post pictures.

class bbq on monday!

OH YEAH.

SHIT.

I FORGOT.

ah dang.

i'm so forgetful.

You know what it's like to be nameless

Want them to know what your name is

Labels: when i grow up.

wishlist

THAT STARBUCKS CHRISTMAS 2009 BOTTLE!
Awesome Sweet Sixteen :)
~~Nokia 5800 Xpress Music~~
pink daniel yam dress!
tatty teddy! :)
~~2009 SYF gold~~ (honours)
singapore flyer! :)
FORMULA ONE TIX!
~~triple science.~~
~~BALLOONS. :)~~
watch Jeff Dunham live!
London! Paris! Italy! Maldives!
HSM3 DVD

chatterbox

flashbacks

♥ November 2006
♥ December 2006
♥ January 2007
♥ March 2007
♥ April 2007
♥ May 2007
♥ June 2007
♥ July 2007
♥ August 2007
♥ September 2007
♥ October 2007
♥ November 2007
♥ December 2007
♥ January 2008
♥ February 2008
♥ March 2008
♥ April 2008
♥ May 2008
♥ June 2008
♥ July 2008
♥ August 2008
♥ September 2008
♥ October 2008
♥ November 2008
♥ December 2008
♥ January 2009
♥ February 2009
♥ March 2009
♥ April 2009
♥ May 2009
♥ June 2009
♥ July 2009
♥ August 2009
♥ September 2009
♥ October 2009
♥ November 2009
♥ December 2009
♥ November 2010

©2008 michelle.