ALOHA! I'm Michelle, 15 going on SWEET 16 5th February. I'm not a nerd though i'm in a triple science class, cross my heart. The Fairfield Choir is the best opportunity i ever got, and it'll rock your socks off. Starbucks is totally awesome and kicks ass! I've a penchant for pink, i'm mad about Choir Clique and crazy over God.:)


♥ada
♥adelin
♥ailin, jessica
♥al-emporio
♥allinda
♥allison tan

♥brendan

♥celine
♥celine, jessica
♥chatterhoax
♥chin ngee

♥deborah
♥dione

♥elisse
♥elle
♥esther
♥eunice
♥eunice, celine

♥faye
♥fenny

♥huiling

♥jessica
♥jianping
♥jolenda
♥jolenda2
♥juniper

♥kaixin
♥kimberley kiew
♥kimberly choo

♥laozhabor
♥leonard
♥lincoln

♥meiying
♥minxian

♥natalia
♥natalia, sarah
♥nicole wong
♥noelle

♥pamela
♥petros

♥rebecca
♥rebecca lau
♥richelle
♥ruijun

♥sarah-ann
♥sofia
♥soh&low

♥vanessa

♥wallic
♥wing sze

♥xiaxue
♥xi yun
♥xing yi
♥xiuwen
♥xiu yun

♥yee wei
♥yukling

♥zoey

♥6c '06
♥6D '06
♥6g '06


layout: detonatedlove♥
picture: sugarskinned
editing: mich..elle!♥

Last edited:
Sunday, 15.11.09, 11.56pm

I CANNOT GET THE FORMULA ONE RACE OUT OF MY HEAD.
AND I DIDN'T MUG.
i've no motivation.
not even $300 can move me at this point.
:(

formula one race was exciting,
hehhehe.
wish i was there man.
cos i know some people got money to at least buy friday's $38 tickets!
too bad i knew so late.
but that's mean,
i'm using their savings.
:S

i'm being bored.
man.
i wish someone would lock my blog for me!

i know i'm not supposed to be here.
I DON'T KNOW WHY EITHER! :(

argh.
EOYs starting in THREE WHOLE DAYS!
i seriously don't know what's wrong with me.
i'm STILL not in the 'must mug' mood.
oh man.
at least i've history done,
english no need to study,
chinese a little, so is literature.
d&t, just highlighted main stuff.

that's about it all right?
getting my lit file back tmr,
so will start lit and history like MAD from tomorrow onwards.
wednesday is complete non-stop.

i CANNOT study at home though.
my SISTER and parents are practically distractions!
i mean,
i'll be tempted to run after my sister when she snatches my piglet away,
and my parents like to walk in every few minutes and ask if i'm studying.
I NEED TO FIND SOME STUDY PARTNER ON WEDNESDAY.
I NEED TO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.
anyone willing?
:)

i actually don't know what's wrong with me though.
i'm this huge slacker.
i keep thinking EOYs is just some mid-years.
maybe it's cos no midyears this year,
feels abit too slack.
:

well anyway,
i'm looking forward to end of exams though!
class outing, alot of people to go out with, and high school musical!
:D

can't believe i even want to watch.
it's actually quite nice though, but i'm not that mad over it.
:)
it'll be kinda cool, cos practically this whole bunch of us want to watch and probably will go together!
:D
hahaha,
i'm thinking too much though.

i'm really worried about option form though.
what if i don't do well?!
i would HATE to take lit.
i have a B3 in lit la!
:(

whatever.
alot of stuff going on nowadays.
sigh.
i SERIOUSLY cannot study at home on wednesday.
i don't even CARE if it means meeting at 10am and studying till dinner.
i don't even care.
but let's just see if there's even anyone who can go out,
considering it's like the last day to study.
:(

ARGH.
i think i'm the world's biggest slacker.
:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

won't post during exams,
that's for sure.
so probably today's the last day i'll ever post till thursday.
:D

if i survived already almost half a month of no computer,
what's ten days?

Lord,
please watch over me and everyone else.
grant all of us the wisdom and help us retain whatever we've all revised and learnt.
this exam means alot to everyone and i just pray you'll help us.
In Jesus' name, Amen.

i'm suddenly in the read textbook mood.
at least that's better than spending hours on the computer.
i need to set my piorities straight man.
if this keeps up,
i think i might be using computer the NIGHT before o levels.
no surprise.

WHY.
WHY is this going on.

kind of slacking today,
but will study history at night.
i PROMISE that i will mug finish at least FOUR chapters tonight.
that'll leav me with chapter 8 and 9 to finish up this week.
then,
a few days before history is final revision.

i'm really really scared about lit.
no idea what to study!
:(
gooodness,
i can't wait for EOYs to be over.
i've like,
a few days to go chill.
i'm scared i just might go crazy cos my brain burst.
:(

argh!
i have to mug lit and history by this week.
next week there's barely any time.
wednesday's a public holiday though.
oh man.
this sucks.

maybe this is really a test.
test of if i can juggle studies, friendships and social life all at once.
i want triple science so damn badly.

Lord,
please help me.

and i promise myself,
NO MORE SLACKING TILL EOYs ARE OVER!

revision left:
science
lit
history
d&t
chinese

it's a hell lot.
thank goodness science is quite okay for me,
and i've revised chapter 9 history.

i think i might die.

life is currently mugging and mugging.
mundane yet horrid.
contradictive rather.
i'm STILL in party mood.
:(
i've only went through science and maths for tests last week,
and abit of history highlighting.
in short,
i've actually NOT even gone near to revising a single chapter of ANYTHING!
man,
i'm really scared i'll be so darn screwed.
i don't remember if i was this relaxed, just depending on revision papers to get me through.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeee,
i'm SUCH a slacker.
i can't seem to find a place free of distractions to study!
ARGH,
i desperately need HELP on how to MUG.
hopeless right.
:(

anyway,
after EOYs,
i've probably 2, or less than 2 months,
to go get the stuff i need.
loads of birthdays coming up!
:)

anyway,
i doubt i'll be blogging for a long long time though i've itchy fingers and will dash back home to use comp.
:/
but in any case,
i'll just be on hiatus till eoys are over,
or when i need to blog.
:D

i hope, i pray, i wish.
Lord,
i'm really sorry for all i've done.
neglecting EVERYONE,
all those whom have been such good and best friends to me.
Lord,
i pray you'll show me the way,
help me find my courage so i'll be able to face up to any critism, fears or whatsoever.
Lord,
i pray that you'll help me fix things right and just show me the way.
Everything i see nowadays reminds me of everything i've done with everyone,
and i really can't take this anymore.
I really need a sign, courage and just the wisdom to have a honest conversation with them.

this is horrid.
how am i supposed to mug now that everything just floods back to me?
i seem to be the only one brooding over it,
but i can't control my thoughts and feelings anymore.
There's something missing,
and it's such an important part of me.
All i have to say is that,
i'm sorry, i really am.
and i hope things will be fixed right asap.
Abit selfish of me to want everything back as they were without knowing your opinions and everything,
but i think if we do talk about it,
we'll end up crying and crumbling in a heap.

i can't be so selfish and force you to make things back to the past, right?
it's unethical, selfish, and just..

guess nothing can be the same anymore unless i try to fix it right.

we need to talk.
fast.





390th post.
wow.

tag replies: (i forgot where i stopped so shall reply from 16 aug)

faye: hahaha, relinked. and whatever, my vote's for obama! :D

jarell: hello there! :)

xi yun: hah, thanks.

sarah-ann: hahaha, you wish! oh oh, let's take jump shots soon! :D

-: hey? :D

deborah: lol! test for what. :) hahaha, i love you brah!

amanda KING: hahaha, what's up with your small words thing?

Big Balls: loool. i'm amazed you guys even have a blog man. hur hur. :)

elle: relinked! :D

ada: hahaha, i'm super jump shot crazy! we shall take together one of these days!

chew: CHILL MAN. it's alright. i've loads of those cups at home. :) i love you chew-y!

xing: hahahaha, hello. *does fortune cat wave* loool.

that's about it for tag replies.
my blog's rather dead.
and i cooked a super screwed up and non-filling lunch.
omelette with nuggets.
stupid right?
i wanted to cook pasta actually.
that's the ONLY nice thing i can remember how to cook.
still remember home econs practical last year, hehe!

i seriously need to get out of this house and study la.
it's killing me.
distractions everywhere!
hmm,
i shall see if i can get anyone to study with me tomorrow.
if not, looks like after tuition i'm coming home to slack again.

okay,
i MUST study right now.
oh heck it,
at three i'll start.

the internet's so interesting despite me staring at my blog and friendster doing absolutely nothing.
i wonder what has gotten into me.
argh.

Labels: party mood

finally,
a totally free day!
yesterday's senior's farewell was pretty okay,
quite fun.
i loveeeeeeeeee my group this year!
faye, al-emporio, gabriel, sec ones hilary and lucas.
hahaha,
i think me and al were the craziest in the classroom.
used C207 for item practice.
my form class, heh.
:D
had to lip-synch to beautiful girls and like,
do some stuff too.
hahaha,
so we did a flashback like in the music video.
really stupid,
at least the audience was laughing away.
and now i think people see me as some girl who bullied a boy smaller than she is,
haha!

it wasn't that grand or anything,
but the night was pretty okay.
ended up wearing the white dress over my red one.
:(
i seriously need to go shopping.
my wardrobe is practically empty la!
i'll go after eoys,
hehe.

speaking of which,
i haven't been mugging.
i think today i'll spend the whole day just cooking my lunch and finishing the maths homework,
all 30 questions + countless parts of a question.
then,
tomorrow after tuition i'm gonna come back and relax abit,
and probably not revise at all!
:/
okay,
this is madness la.
exams are in a month,
i have barely done ANYTHING.
i can't even remember if i actually studied last year.
this sucks la.
from now on,
after school everyday,
i'm gonna go out to libraries and whatever i can find,
and go study.
i NEED to start revision by next week,
if not it's gonna be way too late.
it already is,
right?

---

okay,
maybe we should find a day to go out like before,
carl's jr, starbucks, highness, whatever,
and get a really good talk and settle everything straight.
even talking to you last night was really weird.
there was practically nothing to say.
and it's not entirely your fault either.
if i hadn't been obsessing about it every time we go out as a clique or what,
and if i hadn't been so called making you wait along with me,
if i hadn't been that selfish to forget about you,
maybe things would have still been the same or even better right now.
i really want to let you know it's really not your fault,
but since you think so,
it's BOTH our faults.
i've been neglecting our friendship,
you've been trying to let go.
i don't mean for the next few sentences to sound abit wrong,
like some love note,
but i really really want you to know that you're really the BESTEST friend i ever had and i can't ask for more.
honestly,
i miss our little study and shopping times,
the carl's jr crazy highness,
the crap we all talked.
not going out with you and having to do stuff we always did is making me miss you alot!
look,
i know it's ultimately your decision,
and with the EOYs so near,
it may not be the best,
but i hope in this coming weeks we'll be like we were before,
and not miss out anymore.
really,
you may be able to try to let go,
but i can't even try,
i know i cannot stand not being the way we were before,
and i do hope everything will be alright soon.
but since you've kind of tried to let go and with the eoys so near,
i doubt it's really possible to even try to make time for each other.
but i will stick by to my promise:
i will NEVER EVER forget and neglect my best friend ever again,
cos she's way too good for me to let go of.

do you even realise,
we hardly take pictures anymore, (yesterday was really the worst day of my life, believe it or not)
we hardly go high,
we hardly even TALK.
it's making my life so miserable.

i know it sounds abit,
les?
but i really had to say it in that way,
cos i do feel that i'm practically losing someone i love so much right now!
and don't cry, you're not the only one at this point.
i really do promise that if i ever ever neglect you or start giving up our friendship,
you've my 100% guarantee you're allowed to not want to call me your best friend ever again.
extreme as it may sound,
but i'm serious.
nothing's going right ever since that day rebecca told me everything,
or maybe i just became so much more aware of everyone.
it's really my fault,
really.
and i'm not trying to play some blame game here.

let's just say that all these started off with me,
and it should end right now,
with me.
it's either i take action or i don't,
and i already did.
now i'm just wondering when all these will stop.
it's taking too much out of me.

in any case,
i just hope that if i do go on some shopping spree after eoys,
i hope i'll be able to spend the whole day with you.

i never found our friendship tiring, boring or hard to keep,
cos i always believed we would stay the bestest of friends forever.

really,
it ain't your fault for trying to keep my by your side.
i guess i wanted the best of both worlds,
but looks like it's true,
one can't always have two.
don't blame yourself anymore.

i'm really and truely sorry.
and i mean it.

Labels: i'm sorry

One Step At a Time - Jordin Sparks

Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you've always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can't touch

You wanna show the world,
but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how
you're gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face seems the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting

We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen and we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

You believe and you doubt
You're confused, and got it all figured out
Everything that you always wished for
Could be yours,
should be yours, would be yours
If they only knew

You wanna show the world,
but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how
you're gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face seems the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting

We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen and we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

When you can't wait any longer
But there's no end in sight
(When you need to find the strength)
It's the faith that makes you stronger
The only way we get there
Is one step at a time

Take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

just got back from choir.
came home straight.
amazingly!
dress code tomorrow remains,
but no halter, tubes or spaghetti-straps,
must have sleeves.
:/
now make me reconsider what to wear!
looks like i've to dig deep into my sister's wardrobe.

anyway,
the song above.
came to me at just the right time.
i was feeling really down since my conversation before choir on msn.
really upset,
hated myself for what's happening.
later on,
i get really cold treatment.
nothing's going right!

but the song really relates to me so much at this point of time in this situation.
maybe i should let things take one step at a time,
and hopefully everything will be back to as they were.
but for now,
i can't help feeling totally horrid and upset inside.

now all i can do is pray, do what i can, hope for the best and listen to the song over and over again.
it's such a nice song anyway.
i haven't been listening to the radio for so long,
now i realise i'm missing out so so many nice and meaningful songs.
:(

i'm really sorry.
i know one can't have the best of both worlds,
but who do you expect me to give up?
i love you both!

my life's a horrid mess now,
and i doubt it's gonna get better for at least this week.
like the lyrics,
i really wanna explain and have a good talk,
but it's like,
every single 'door' keeps slamming,
shutting me out.
all this no-fun and 'you're not the same' atitude to me,
i can't take it anymore.

thanks rebecca though,
you set me thinking.
thinking about the current situation.
maybe i had my head stuck up in the clouds for way too long,
and it's time i stay back down on earth and take a good look around.
cos nothing's actually going right around me.

i'm just really sorry to everyone.
if you know who i'm talking about,
and it's you,
well,
i'm really sorry.
you're really the bestest friend i ever had and i don't want to see all the great times we had go to nothing.
it's not the way things should be now.

ARGH,
can someone give me some anti-depressant or relaxation pills?
i totally need it.
sigh.

i know, i know why now.
i know it better than ever before.
i'm sorry for being such a selfish person.
i guess everything just blinded me.

everything just doesn't seem to be right in my whole entire life.
sometimes i hate myself for stuff that's going on,
and this time,
it IS my fault.

yesterday was fun, fun-er, fun-est!
:)
THANK YOU ALLINDA, AARON, EUGENE AND IVIAN!
:)
hahaha,
they're such fun mansxzx.

aaron came first, then eugene and ivian.
chew was last,
cos she woke up late!
hahaha,
ordered pizza,
watched spartans.
then went down to play volleyball,
but stupid court was locked and my dad could tell me it's always open.
:S
went to the soccer court and played there,
was utter rubbish.
i whacked the ball once or twice and this blueblack appeared on my wrist bone there.
so worried,
i didn't want to play anyway.
i just spiked all the way.
now that bone's swollen.
:(

played soccer with the ball after that,
super funny!
i scored a goal from one end of the court to the other!
quite short a distance though.
:)
went to get drinks later,
then went playground play.
was quite high.

the guys keep rocking us on the seesaw,
so it was kinda wrong.
kept screaming,
so fun!
:D
made me feel like a small kid.

then they had a great idea of squeezing along the short but windy tunnel slide.
hahaha,
damn funny.
at first it was allinda at the end, with eugene, then i slid down with aaron behind.
wanted to take picture, but it was a video instead!
damn hell hilarious.
aaron, you suck man. video and photo also cannot tell!
:)
then eugene kept screaming cannonball cos he said i was squashing him when it was aaron pushing me then pushing everyone.
hahaha!
then ivian was climbing on the slide and banging around.
hell funny.
we swapped positions later,
aaron at the end, then me, eugene and allinda,
according to weight.
(i'm heavier than eugene, believe it or not)
then chew kept trying to push us all out!
then we thought we were suppposed to take picture,
so we pulled ivian at the end.
then eugene had to tell us his phone jammed?!
what the hell,
and i was stuck inbetween aaron on my left and eugene on my right for hell long.
:(
and stupid ivian didn't want to get out!
hahaha.

the playground was so darn funny.
we were also playing at the fitness corner,
utter crap!

went up to watch superhero movie,
laughed even more!
then we played awhile more,
and i had to keep screaming at eugene and ivian not to throw the ball around in my room,
which obviously didn't work.

yesterday was fun fun fun,
and thank you peeps for the great day.
:D

choir in one hour's time,
gotta go wash my stuff and change and get out after 1pm.
sigh,
i hope tomorrow the whole choir clique will go.

tag replies another time.
will be out whole day tomorrow for choir,
so don't expect an update.

THAT STARBUCKS CHRISTMAS 2009 BOTTLE!
Awesome Sweet Sixteen :)
Nokia 5800 Xpress Music
pink daniel yam dress!
tatty teddy! :)
2009 SYF gold (honours)
singapore flyer! :)
FORMULA ONE TIX!
triple science.
BALLOONS. :)
watch Jeff Dunham live!
London! Paris! Italy! Maldives!
HSM3 DVD



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©2008 michelle.