Friday, November 09, 2007
10:18 AM
i just cried again.
wth.
this is getting outrageous.
what the hell is wrong with my dad!
he's just being freaking petty can.
not only to me,
but to my mum and my sister too alright.
he's just acting like a total physcopath however you spell it.
i woke up this morning and grabbed my phone off the table,
just to see if my mum remembered to gimme money to top up my ez-link
and not only did i not see that,
i saw the consent form for the overseas trip for choir.
i totally forgot about it,
so i went to see it.
and turned out i wasnt allowed.
and my mum left me a note there,
saying will tell me why i cant go later.
then i noticed it was my dad who signed it.
hello?
in his petty state now,
my dad wouldnt have agreeded just cos i made him angry over wanting to go church by myself and not letting him fetch me there.
and well,
my dad told me in my face the minute he saw the letter.
he was like,
im NOT going to let HER go.
no questions asked,
no go.
obviously i didnt care then cos he was just being petty.
but now,
him being petty over that whole i-dont-want-to-be-fetched-to-church,
and then being angry about it for a week now,
doesnt help in any situation.
obviously there's no reason why i cant go.
the only reason is that HE'S PETTY AND UNREASONABLE TO LET ANYONE GO ANYWHERE.
thats all.
obviously i would break down.
i cannot take it any longer.
what kind of parent is this?
unsupportive in any way when he's angry?
its not fair.
he always thinks he's right,
he always think he's fair.
he always wanna have his own way.
what the hell is his problem?
im just super angry at him now.
super.
in fact,
if he would have let me go,
i would just take whatever money i can to convert to euros,
and then stay there as long as i can even after the 9 days are over.
he's just freaking unreasonable and i dont wanna live with him anymore.
he also made everyone pissed at him.
he drank up a whole huge bottle of vodka which my sister wanted to try abit yet he claimed is his so he can drink all.
and dont know what he did to my mum,
always using her as a threat saying if he says no to the trip,
he wont allow my mum to let me go either cos he makes the final decision.
if thats not unreasonable,
tell me what is.
i know a few people got worse parents than me,
but can you imagine having a dad who doesnt even treat you like a daughter and practically gets angry at you for EVERYTHING he deems WRONG?
he gets angry at something,
then from then on
whatever you do he says its WRONG and SCOLDS you like no one's business.
doesnt he even have a conscience?
i dont even wanna scold him already.
all i wanna do is just list down everything he has done to me over these FIVE days.
if he wants to be unreasonable and unforgiving,
go ahead.
cos one fine day if i cant take it anymore,
i will just shift out.
its not me getting thrown out by you,
but you can say its me abandoning you,
not the other way around.
you want me to become like you,
petty and unreasonable,
forget it.
i will NEVER follow such a horrible 'role model'
anyway,
thanks for those who cheered me up.
though it didnt really help as in you couldnt stop all those horrible stuff coming,
but i really appreciated it.
thanks celine,
which you did alot to try to understand what was going on,
sarah who also cheered me up quite a bit,
though i know it wont end soon,
adelin who led me to a psalm to leave things to God,
and many many more others who tried cheering me up one way or another
really thank you all so much.
sometimes i feel i rather have my friends for a family rather than have this family.
they really cheer you up when your down,
and feeling helpless.
thanks so much,
and sorry if i made some worry for awhile alright.
i think i shall stop here.
im feeling bad enough as it is.
i think im getting a horrible headache.
dont feel like going to choir so i can never pass that form up.